On Saturday 27th February I watched the film “How To Be Single” in the cinema for the first time, it sounds cliché but I was inspired.
The film is all about Alice (Dakota Johnson, 50 Shades of Grey) who decides she wants a break from her boyfriend, to see if long distance can work. However, on her journey of living in a new city she experiences obstacles which leads her to experience the single lifestyle.
It’s a rom-com super empowering film (in my opinion). Whilst watching the film my friend turns to me, laughing her head off, saying this film is basically my life! Which in some aspects, it is.
For the majority of my life my relationship status has been single, with the odd boyfriend here and there. And I can relate to the characters in the film at certain points. I mean, all my sisters and friends are in relationships or dating. There’s only me who is fully-not-committed-to-anyone-single, and sometimes I do feel like I’m missing out on experiences.
But this film isn’t about relationships, it’s about the single life. Where you only focus on you, what you want and need, you’re dreams and goals. And it got me thinking, why do I want a relationship?
Don’t get me wrong, I’m not mopping around 24/7 thinking my life is miserable without a guy. Just every now and then I think about what it would be like, having someone there for me. But what I should be concentrating on is me. I’m a full believer in when you don’t look for something, it will come to you. Maybe not right away, or in a year’s time. But eventually, it will come.
So, why am I putting myself on hold? Thinking when I get a guy I can do this or that. Or like when I get a car I can go places by myself. Why can’t I do this stuff now? Well I know the answer to that, it’s me.
I’m stopping myself, I shouldn’t put all my hopes and faith into dreams in the future on what ifs and maybes. I should be enjoying my life as much as possible, whenever possible. And the biggest achievements feel better when achieved all by your own hard work and time.
Like my car, I passed my driving test 3 years ago knowing I wouldn’t be able to get a car right away. But at the end of March this year I will be the owner of a new 2016 Fiat 500. Why? Because I worked hard and saved all by myself to get it. Insurance? Paid by me. Finance payments? All me. And you know what? It feels great! No one can take that away from me, because I achieved that goal all on my own.
So why feel bad for not being in a relationship, why can’t I enjoy the single lifestyle I have right now? I’m not saying that if a guy comes into the picture I won’t turn him down. But what I’m saying is there is more to life than focusing on who’s dating who.
Find out who you really are, and embrace it. If you want to explore, go for it. If you want to learn how to draw, start learning. If you want to get a place, find out how. Stop putting yourself on pause and live your life.
As the song in the film goes, “I love me!” And if you haven’t watched it, do it!
And that’s it.
Trailer – How To Be Single
Song from the film (Yes, I listened to this whilst writing this post!) Hailee Steinfeld – Love Myself